What Should I Expect When I Start Therapy?
One of the biggest hesitations people have about starting therapy is simply not knowing what to expect. In my workshops, I often meet people who are curious about therapy and believe it could help—but feel anxious because they’ve never talked openly about what actually happens in a therapy session.
This post is here to help demystify the process. If you're wondering what going to therapy for the first time is like or how to prep for your first ever therapy session, this guide will walk you through the major phases of therapy: the Beginning, Middle, and End. I’ll break down each stage, so you can have a clearer sense of what to expect in therapy and how to make the most of it.
The Beginning Phase: Building the Foundation
Intake Session
Therapy usually starts with an intake session. This is your therapist’s chance to get to know you—your life, your challenges, and your goals. They may ask questions like:
How did you grow up?
What stage of life are you in now?
What relationships are important to you?
What does a typical week look like?
This conversation sets the groundwork for your therapist to understand how your current issues fit into the bigger picture of your life. You’ll also start to define your goals. Maybe you want to manage anxiety, build confidence, or break toxic relationship patterns—this is your space to articulate what "feeling better" actually looks like for you.
The First Few Sessions
In the first few sessions, you might not feel ready to share everything—and that’s okay. It’s totally normal to take time to build trust. Your therapist may continue asking questions, offering reflections, and helping you explore patterns, emotions, and coping strategies. If you’re worried about saying too much, you might be wondering: “Is it possible to overshare with a therapist?” The answer is no—your therapist is trained to hold space for whatever you’re ready to bring into the room, at your pace.
The Middle Phase: Doing the Work
Once you start feeling safer and more connected with your therapist, you’ll likely enter what I call the “messy middle.” This is the phase where deeper healing or skill-building takes place, depending on your goals. Therapy in this stage may involve:
Exploring the roots of your challenges
Learning new emotional regulation or communication skills
Processing difficult emotions and past experiences
Breaking old patterns that no longer serve you
This part of therapy can be uncomfortable—and incredibly rewarding. While it may sometimes feel slow or difficult, it’s often where the most meaningful transformation happens.
You might ask, “How long do people attend therapy?” The answer varies. Some people attend for a few months to work through a specific issue; others stay longer for deeper healing. It depends on your goals and needs.
The End Phase: Wrapping Up & Moving Forward
When you’ve met your goals or feel ready to transition out of therapy, it’s time to move toward an ending. This doesn’t mean disappearing on your therapist—a healthy, intentional ending is a key part of the therapy process.
Termination Session
In your final sessions, you and your therapist will:
Reflect on your progress
Review skills you’ve developed
Talk through how to maintain changes on your own
Process any feelings about the end of this chapter
What is a realistic expectation for therapy? It’s not a quick fix—but if you’ve engaged in the process, you’ll likely walk away with tools, insights, and resilience that last far beyond the final session.
Tips for Your First Therapy Session
If you’re just starting out and wondering what to say in your first therapy session, here are a few helpful tips:
Share what brought you to therapy and what you hope to get out of it
Be honest about how you’re feeling (even if that’s nervous or unsure!)
Ask your therapist questions about their approach
Know that there’s no “right” way to begin—just show up as you are
Therapy can be an incredibly empowering experience—but like any new process, it helps to know what to expect. If you’re curious about starting therapy or have more questions about how it works, feel free to leave a comment or explore our therapy services.
